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Friday, January 25, 2008

he is improved :)

Today, my dear Shahmey is exactly 8 months and 1 week! By this hour, he is able to:




  1. crawl (merangkak) - 2 days after menyusur ke depan (in English apa ke benda entah panggil ni.. heheheee)

  2. stand (berdiri) - when he reached something that he could hold on to and stand, he never wait... terus berdiri and 'gendang' or grab whatever he thinks interesting in his eyes :)

  3. Menyusur /Menyusup ke depan - not long after he was able to turn over (meniarap)

  4. Turn over (meniarap) - we waited so long for him to turn over. A few days after we reached Al Jubail (he was almost 6 months then), he turn over...

  5. Sit (duduk) - after being tired of crawling, he usually sit down. The way he sit, sebijik macam Sophea (kakak) masa kecil:)

  6. Smile (senyum) - oooo.. this one dah lama sangat dia pandai. Macam reti je tengok camera when I took his picture.. Definitely not a camera shy!

I'm glad that I could capture this while I remember. For my 2 daughters, I could hardly remember when they started to do all the above... perhaps, I could only remember the time they were able to walk - Sophea: exactly 1 year old, Sobhan: a week or two after her 1st birthday.



Lambat berjalan Sobhan ni tapi dia lah yang paling kuat memanjat... *grin*

Shahmey, you grow so fast. Ummi is really breathless taking care of you at the moment. You don't want to sit still anymore. You are a curious person. When you see something different or interests your eyes, you struggled to let yourself off ummi or abah and grabbed the things.



Ummi and abah always 'quarrel' about who had to hold you first when we went to friends house (meal time) coz' each of us definitely wanna enjoy the meal rather than holding the 'restless' you (its always ummi had to hold you and abah... go makan laaa). Its not that we don't love you. We really love you but we love the food too.. heheheee

Its fun though watching your progress.

Ummi and abah always glad to tell each other of your progress.... such as...



"Tengok bang. Dia dah boleh merangkak..."
its ummi dear



"Takdelah... dia heret kaki aje tu...."
that's abah



After a while...



"Haah laaa... dia dah boleh merangkak... eeeee... anak abah... dah merangkak ye...mari sini... ala manja dia.. ala bucuk dia..."



Sweet kan Shahmey Ummi and Abah ni... Sweet tak Shahmey?? Ish Shahmey diam la pulak... gaaa gaaa... giiii giiii je ni... Nape Shahmey tak jawab ummi tanya ni? laaa.. lupa pulak ummi.. Shahmey tak pandai cakap lagi... heheheheeee

Monday, January 21, 2008

Shahmey's video - 1 month and 23 days

The video was taken when Shahmey was 1 month and 23 days. It meant for abah (who missed us a lot - Ummi supposed leee) to view (it had been 23 days that Abang left us for Al Jubail). Unfortunately, Ummi didn't manage to email it to abah...





p/s Kak Coan yang tak habis-habis gomol adiknya





Kesiannya Shahmey menangis nak susu...

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Abah and ummi little prince...

A conversation took place between abang and I in 1 evening in our house in ktn. 'Shmsl cerita, mek (wife) dia pregnant' and I said 'haa?? bukan ke anak dia yand 2nd tu kecik lagi? sure shmsl stress kan anak kecik2 lagi...' then abang answered, 'takdelah. dia excited... dia memang nak anak lagi pun. hmmmm kita bila lagi?' silence for a while. Then I continued, 'Penat la bang.... jaga 2 orang ni. Tunggulah lagi setahun dua ke...'


Abang was not satisfied with my answer. I knew he's been asking for another baby long ago. My 2nd daughter, Coan was already 4 years old then. But, I really enjoyed the moments not having 'a baby' who require special attention especially at night and during travelling. I've already felt so free when I didn't have to carry a baby with me all the time. Though we can always bring a stroller, other nitty-gritty stuff for a baby are a lot (diapers, toiletries especially for babies, napkins, mitten, booties not to mention the formula milk - for nonbreastfed babies). Well, of course I understand, there is no such thing as a free lunch. In order to have a baby, I have to sacrifice my 'freedom'. I didn't want to sacrifice it yet...


Few months went by. All Muslim were waiting for Ramadhan (or rather Syawal??) to come. I was supposed to have my period at least a day before Ramadhan which means, I could't fast on the 1st of Ramadhan. 1st Ramadhan - no period yet. 2nd Ramadhan - still no period. 3rd Ramadhan - nope.... not yet!!! Oh well, it was late due to the fasting month. When my diet changed, so well my period, I thought. But I did notice something different. I was really tired though it was already the 3rd day of fasting month. I did fast before Ramadhan even started. Usually, it was only the 1st day of the month that I would feel exhausted. Now, is already 3rd day. But then, I still believed it was due to my diet changed.


We went back to Btng for the weekend. Abang wanted to break fast with mak and his siblings. Since mak was at Abg N house, we dropped by there. It was already 9pm but we were quite hungry since we didn't eat much during our break fast at 1 of the rest area. Mak had prepared a very delicious meal for us (I realize I like mak's better than ma's after getting married). But I couldn't eat. I ate a little. Mak asked me 'Tambah la lagi neeza'. Then I said 'Entahlah mak, bulan puasa ni macam tak lalu makan je. kepala pun pening...'. 'Macam tu pulak??' I can tell she look frustrated and unhappy with my answer. I would eat a lot usually but not that time. She must had been thinking I didn't like the meal that she had prepared.


The next day, we were supposed to go back to Bt Lt (mak's house). Abang decided to buy some groceries in Btng before heading towards Bt Lt. I told abang to drop me at a clinic while he went to buy groceries. Though, I didn't expect to get pregnant (since I think I was so careful in making sure I won't get pregnant - well that's what I thought!), I preferred to confirm with an expert. I had been late for 3 or 4 and even 2 weeks before but it turned out that I'm not pregnant. But again, better be safe than sorry. It won't hurt to go and check. Abang dropped me at this 24hrs clinic in Btng. I told the doctor that my period was late for 7 days. After checking my urine, he said, 'positive. you're pregnant and its already 4 weeks.' I was like, ouuccchhh!! Of course the test wasn't hurt but I wasn't expecting it.


I was so upset and happy? I don't know. Indifferent feelings. I am pregnant? I thought. I have 2 girls and what is this? A girl again? Oh God..... I should have been more careful. But when was it happened? I tried to recall but I couldn't. Anyway, it' here now in my tummy. But, was the test reliable? I hope not, tried to convince myself that I'm not pregnant. Aband picked me up. At mak's house, abang asked me 'macam mana lelaki ke pompuan?' Duhhhh... if I ever pregnant pun, mana lah tahu lelaki ke perempuan yet. That made me even worried. If I have another girl again, I may not have a chance to have a boy at all... coz I had 2 C-Sec before.


I still remember a day after I delivered Coan (while I still in the hospital), Dr H came to see me and said 'girl lagi ye. takpelah. next time if you want to get pregnant, come and see me. I'll give you ways to have a boy. After this, you tak boleh opt for normal lagi. It has to be C-Sec. yang ni kena pergi awal untuk belah. Biasanya 2 weeks before your due date'. During that time, I could only smile and hoping that I have to be ready and make sure I'll have a boy. But now... I'm already pregnant and I didn't plan. I don't know if its a boy or girl again. I could only pray.


Unhappy with the result, I went to see Dr F at Bkt Rngn, ktn. I wanted to have another test (Of course she didn't know I had gone to a different doctor in btng before). The test again showed that I was pregnant. I wasn't satisfied and insisted the doctor to do a 2D scan. I told her a few months back when my period was late, I went to see another doctor. At first the doctor told me that I wasn't pregnant but when I was about to leave, he called me and said I was pregnant. But, a few days after that, I got my period. Dr F told me, sometimes the clinics didn't clean the sample bottle properly using a special chemical. So, perhaps other woman's sample may still be there. Dr F did a 2D scan. She confirmed the pregnancy. Shen even showed me the uterus. I was convinced then.


I told kak M about my pregnancy and my worried whether I would have another girl again. Kak M asked me to pray a lot and recite suratul Yusof, Suratul Maryam and Suratul Yaasin. Indeed, the sex of the baby was already determined during the intercourse. Its eiter XX or XY. Nothing can be done to change it, except with Allah's approval. I did as what Kak M asked me to do. I've tried without fail to pray (do'a) for a baby boy in every prayer (solat).


Scanning for the sex!! It's almost 5 month of pregnancy. I went to kmc for my routine check up, as usual. I asked Dr S (Dr H was no longer there. She went to middle east) about the sex of the baby. While scanning, Dr S explained to me all the things showed at the screen. She tried to look for the genital part. 'You ada 2 girls ye' she asked. I said 'Ya...' Then she said 'Ini nampak macam..... hmmm mungkin jugak bukan. Tadi nampak macam boy tapi sekarang saya rasa tali pusat ni..kadang-kadang orang mistaken dengan talipusat' I was a bit frustrated. Then she said, 'takpe, datang lagi next month. mungkin clear sikit nampak' I had no choice but to agree.


Though I supposed to perform my antenatal check up at kmc, I went to Clinic Chg since I heard they had a 3D scan in the clinic. Failing to see (due to my baby covered the private part), I went back disappointedly. I started to love my baby though I didn't know its a boy or a girl yet. A mother's feeling, that cannot be described with words...


It was only after the 7th month of pregnancy I got to see my baby 'birdy'. Dr S was excited to show me. 'Tengok ni. Nampak tak?' I was thinking, what should I see (I never have a boy before, so I don't know how it is supposed to look). I asked 'yang mana doctor?' Then she showed me something like a short finger in between 2 things. Abang who was also there said 'p*n*s!' the doctor was quiet for a while (macam malu sikit...) She printed the picture for us. Only Allah knows how happy I was at that moment. But still, I wasn't want to be so sure since anything could happen. It happened before (not to me) the doctor said the sex was a boy and turned out to be a girl. I hope it won't happen to me...


Since I had to have a C-Sec (3rd one now!), doctor asked me to choose the date. My due date was supposed to be 31st May 2007. By having a C-Sec, I had to come at least 2 weeks before the due date (about 38 weeks of pregnancy). When I looked at the calendar, I noticed something remarkable. My girls were born in March 16 (16/3) and July 18 (18/7). My boy (since kinda confirm though can't be too sure) will be on May (5). 2 weeks before meaning 14 - 21. I chose 17 since it was in the middle and it will make my kids to be 16/3, 17/5 and 18/7. The dates were all consecutive and the months were all odd months and consecutively... The days were also consecutive (Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday - alternate by 1).


I told the doctor that I chose 17 May 2007. My pregnancy period went well. Alhamdulillah... My girls were so excited to have a brother. Coan wanted a sister at first. She said 'Pompuan cantik... boleh pakai skirt..' Sophea wanted a brother. So, when the doctor confirmed it was a boy, Sophea was even more excited. She even said 'ini adik kakak sebab kakak nak boy. Coan nak girl kan...' Anyway, soon after that, they were both eager to have a brother. I've already prepared a name for my boy since the day I got married. Shahmey! I 've called him Shahmey even before he was born.


17 May 2007 arrived. It was about 8am that abang brought me to kmc. When I told the front desk that I was scheduled for C-Sec, she asked me to go upstairs. The nurse then did a ECG test (to check baby's heartbeat). Since everything was alright, they sent me to the ward, asking me to change my outfit. A nurse came an injected me - for the glucose flow. I waited for about an hour in the ward. Then, another nurse came. She said, 'kena tunggu doctor dulu'. At about 9.30am, another nurse came and insert a long tube in my v*g*na, so that I didn't have to go to the toilet to urinate. I didn't like it. Though I did go through the same procedure for Sophea and Coan, that were done when I was in pain. This was done when I was conscious - no pain. The tube really made me sore. I had to be careful to move, afraid the tube will leak my urine (yucckkss!!). So, I just had to lay in bed and waited to be cut!


About 1/2 hour after that, a few nurses came with a stretcher. I knew its time. Thank God! I couldn't wait to deliver my baby. I didn't care about the pain later coz' the tube was more uncomfortable. I told the doctor that I had a sore throat and cough. The nurse gave me 1 kind of very bitter syrup to drink which I supposed it was to cure the cough. They were afraid I would cough during the surgery. Even worse, after the surgery. The anesthetic itself could already coz' itchiness in my throat. So, my cough would worsen the pain.


The doctor once told me the surgery would be done at 10.00am. It was already 10.00 but I was still in the waiting area. There was another boy also waiting for the OT (Operation Theatre). Nope! He wasn't scheduled for a C-Sec okay. hehehee. I was even more uncomfortable laying there with a tube in my v*g*na. Nurses passed by like I was a traffic light. They stopped for a while and looked at me. Then, they went off. I looked at the wall clock. Minute after minute went by. Still, I was laying there like having a sun tan. I was afraid to even sit down due to the tube in between of my leg.


They pushed me inside the OT at about 10.30am. Dr A again for the anesthetic! So, you were the one who made me waited in pain 5 years ago huh! I thought. But, he was nice. He asked me about my lipstick 'Diorang tak suruh buang gencu ke?' Hehehehe.. gencu??? Orang tak panggil gencu la doctor... I said to myself. But I just said 'takde pulak'. I was still conscious when the doctor jab the anesthetic on my wrist. But, I felt so sleepy a few seconds after they put the oxygen mask. Then, black!!


At about 1pm, abang woke me up (I think he noticed that I was a bit conscious). I only asked him 1 question 'Bang baby kita mana?' Abang said 'Ada kat nursery (baby care unit in the hospital) la'. 'lelaki ke pompuan?' Me, asking impatiently. Abang answered 'Lelaki la... Abang ambik dia tadi, dia dah buka mata masa abang azan kan dia...' Then abang showed me the picture that he snapped using his handphone. He was looking at the hp (macam tau tau je abah nak ambik gambar dia). I delivered him at 11.23am and abang took the picture at 12.25pm - an hour after he was out of my tummy.


Ma said, he looked like me, when I was born. I sent Kak Mah (my cousin) the picture and she also said he looked like me.


I've got the name. Abang asked me the spelling. Me, always wanted to be different, spelled his name as Shahmey. Abang wanted to spell as Shahmi. I told abang, I want something different. The name was indeed a common name coz the meaning is good - sacred, courage and intelligent. To be different, I spelled it in my own way... Abang, of course has to agree. Anyway, thanks abang.


Since that was my 3rd C-Sec, Dr S had asked me before the surgery, 'You nak ikat terus atau macam mana?'. Then I asked, 'Kalau tak ikat dulu boleh ke doctor?' Dr S said, 'Kalau condition okay, saya tak ikat la. Tapi kalau condition stitches you terus kat dalam, saya ikat terus. boleh?' I agreed. So, a day after my delivery, Dr S came to see me. 'Stitches you still okay. Jadi, saya tak ikat dulu. cuma... your bladder ternaik sikit. masa saya jahit tu, saya kena jahit atas sikit. Since bladder you attach dengan uterus, dia ternaik sikit. So, next time, before you operate, you kena bagi tahu doctor tu yang bladder you tinggi. Kalau tidak, takut dia terbelah kat tempat bladder pulak.' Seriously, I didn't really understand what she was trying to convey. Until now. I asked her a few times until she said, 'tak payah risau lah. takde apa. cuma cakap pada doctor tu be careful aje'. I was worried actually.


That means, I have another 1 or 2 chances to get pregnant! I think 4 is enough. Hopefully I'll have another boy next time. Since I'm not that young, already 33 now (ooopppss! gonna 34 this November), I'm not sure when is the right time. An expert advice will be needed.....


Alhamdulillah... after 8 years of waiting, the little Shahmey has finally arrived. Thank you Allah.